This essay focuses on the image management of authoritarian regimes and asks: How did and do they market themselves? When and why are they successful? What distinguishes them from liberal regimes in their efforts to gain prestige and support on the global stage? To this end, I consider states such North Korea, China, and Russia, along with a string of Middle Eastern states, flanked by an occasional glance back to the European dictatorships. I argue that the less political a national brand appears, the more successfully it tends to perform. Since the early 2000s, a number of authoritarian regimes have sidelined ideological or religious messaging in favor of branding strategies centered on climate, cuisine, culture, tradition, and natural beauty. In resorting to modern forms of public communication—often heavily bolstered by PR firms located in western capitals—they avoid any taint of propaganda. In contrast, countries insisting on covert or overt political messaging in their international communication, appear to be less effective in their efforts to attract tourism, investments, skilled labor, and long-term political alliances.